I am in an awful situation and could use some advice or really even someone to talk to would be wonderful.

I got pregnant by my boyfriend of a few years in 2005 and had a child in Dec. of that year. Pretty much as soon as i found out i was pregnant he and i split up. He had very little contact with me and the only reason he had any at all was bc of his mother. So after my lo was born he pretty much did nothing. No real contact with him or his family. They were at the birth and then did not see my lo until DNA results came in positive. (i never cheated they were just hoping it wasnt their child.) So i allowed them to establish a relationship with my child after DNA. His mother read the results and immediately asked to keep my 3 1/2 month old child with whom she had only seen once on day one. I said no, of course. i did let them build a relationship. I also let his father (divorced from his mother) and stepmother begin a relationship. The father and mother had a horrible relationship. They bad mouthed each other to me and anyone else that would listen. Threats between each other and so on. Still i tried to stay out of the middle of it and simply let all sides spend time with their new grandbaby.

Now, the "father" did not see the baby until the child was 6 months old. They all blamed his now ex girlfriend for him staying away. During this period of him not seeing "our" child he also signed a handwritten paper saying he didn't want anything to do with the child and that he relinquished all of his rights. His mother stepped in and stopped this from going any further though.

So after 6 months he started to see the baby here and there for very very limited amounts of time. Maybe an hour here or 20 minutes there. He also started trying to pursue me again. By pursue i don't mean a relationship more like reconquering someone who no longer had feelings for him. I tried to build a friendship with him, but would blow off his advances. I also tried to allow him to see "our" child. Background information on him: he was/is an avid drug user, has been arrested multiple times for shoplifting, to battery, and so on.
Still i tried to do what i thought was right for "our" child.

All the while his mother had started to try to controll my child as though she were the mom. She began insisting on keeping my child at least once a week for a few days. If i did not agree she would make me out to be unreasonable and selfish. During some of the times she was in custody of my child she did many things against me as a mother and that were hurtful to my child like: feeding my child foods that they were allergic to, giving my child codeine cough syrup when they were only 1 year old, taking my child to another state without my consent. In other words, she was not taking care of my child as she should have.

When my child was about 1 1/2 years old her "father" was arrested on 8 different counts and forced to either join the military or serve jail time. So he enlisted and moved away. The relationship with his mother and his father and their families continued. I married for the first time when my child was 2 years old. I had been dating this man since she was 1 and he had really been the only father figure she knew. She almost immediately began calling my husband father as she did not know that he wasn't her "real" father. Since her biological father had had so little to do with her I felt she had the right to have a father that wanted her too and did not make her call him anything else. Eventually the relationship between myself and the grandmother of my child got to a point where it was no longer working. They began threatening me with court if i did not do as they wanted. So I cut off contact and they ended up taking me to court seeking Grandparents Visitation. We went to court the first year I was married for an entire year. We were forced to go to Counseling as well. We saw 2 counselors and both asked to be removed from the case. During Court it also came up that the Grandmother was A convicted Felon for embezzlement. She lied about me to the counselors and in court in her testimony but in the end i had evidence against her and the judge ruled in my favor as he deemed me a fit mother.

This of course made her even more angry that she had lost. This happened about 2 years ago. 2 days after the case was settled and the judge told me that it was up to me whether or not my child have a relationship with the grandmother I gave her another chance. I asked that she not speak ill of me and that she adhere to a few guidelines until we rebuilt trust in one another. Less than 3 months passed and she sent out emails defaming me as a mother so i cut off ALL contact with her.

During this case the grandfather sided with me and my husband and I developed a great relationship with him and his wife. We became almost like friends. We would spend birthdays, holidays, and vacations with them. They had their problems but always seemed to have my child's best interests at heart.

In October of last year my Ex was discharged from the military for drug and alcohol abuse. He returned home in January and from January to June had only asked to see "our" child 3 times. When he first returned i offered him a written visitation schedule with alternating weekends, holidays, and the like. The main point was that it be Supervised by his father and stepmother or myself as i was concerned about my child's well being. He declined the visitation and insisted I had no right to tell him anything. I have full custody as of now and he has only been obliged to pay child support and has no rights to custody or even visitation, but i tried to give him something. One reason i made a schedule was to have something set, as he had already stood our child up before. After he declined the schedule i did not hear from him for a month until his father requested to see our child. I explained to the grandfather that my child's father should not be around until he spoke to me himself and in less than one hour he texted me.

So needless to say there have been issues on going since his return. The last time he saw our child was 3 months ago. He requested that he and his father and stepmother take my child to his niece's birthday party where his mother would also be. It made me extremely uncomfortable but i allowed it knowing that his stepmother and father would be there and i did not think anything bad would happen and to show that I was willing to work with them. That night he went out partying and the next morning my child found him passed out in a pool of his own urine. He also threatened to kill his stepmother and father in front of my child for them making a scene when he was found like this. I had to find this out from my child and his stepmother. He did not speak to me again and one month later i was served papers for him trying to get visitation and my child's name changed (my child has my maiden name and when i married i kept my maiden name for my child's sake.)

So now we are going to court again.

My REAL problem now is the relationship between his father and stepmother has completely deteriorated into nonexistence. The father has sided with his son on everything and is also lying to me and him. He tells him lies about my husband and I and then tries to pretend that he stays out of everything with me. The grandparents are still wanting to see my child, but now they are endangering my child because he is living with them. Since he has been back he has not gotten a job and it has been nearly 8 months now. His father has been giving him money to pay his child support, and for him to spend. i was allowing them to see my child as long as he was not around due to the court situation, but now it has gotten more difficult due to the grandfather lying and using guilt to make me do what they want. I am tired of being pushed around and forced to let them get what they want when they don't really seem to care about what is best for my child.

My husband has also supported my child and paid for 95% of my childs costs as the biological father pays a small amount for child support compared to what my husband provides. When the biological father was not around the grandfather and stepmother doted on my husband for being so great with my child and because of how much my child loves him. But since their son is back they now look at my husband as though he has forced himself upon my child as a father and that he has no right to parent.

I do not know what to do anymore and I am so stressed out because of this situation. I am tired of these people manipulating me and my family. I am tired of having to worry about receiving harassing texts and going to court all of the time. All of the child support i have received since my child was born wouldn't even pay all of the court costs we have had to incur because of these people. If anyone has any advice or even just words of encouragement I would greatly appreciate it. I feel as though the world is punishing me for something I either haven't done yet, or just don't remember doing at all. I am not a perfect mother but i love my child and do what is right for them. I don't do drugs and have never been arrested, i don't party, i stay with my child, i give my child affection, attention, and discipline. I just don't know what to do anymore though.

im sorry this was so long, it doesn't have all of the details it could have, just enough for someone to understand my story. Thanks for reading and trying to help someone who really needs it.