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Old 04-01-2012, 12:59 AM
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Exclamation Need as much advice as possible

so here goes...
on christmas day 2010 my mother who lived in england passed away suddenly at 49yrs of age, leaving behind my 12 year old brother. years before that id moved to ireland to live with my dad, whos not my brothers dad. after my mums funeral and with long discussions with my other siblings it was decided as i was the only sibling available (and aunts and uncles not fit or suitalbe) my brother would come to live with me in ireland, i was awarded guardian ship, i dont have my own kids, and as i was closest to my little brother who seen him often aswell as my mother, it was decided this was the best option, i quit full time work to part time work, i got him settled into school, its been a year, and hes doing fine. other than the irish/english nit picking from the lads in school (which was a given), and as id moved myself to ireland at the same age, i had warned my little brother is was going to happen. hes grades are very good (much better than my own at his age), hes bright, active, loves his sports, has one very close friend, who always looks out for him.
as our mother passed away i new he would find this subject difficult to accpet, he was raised alone by my mother all his life, its been such a massive change for him, i always talk about our mum just so he knows its not a taboo subject, but the thing is, when he does let me no hes upset over it (which isnt very often, nine times out of ten he will just mention her in passing or in a remember when kind of way) its about as far as it goes, he crys for a few seconds and just changes the subject...... he goes to art therapy in school once a week, going to see a councellor he refuses point blank...any ideas on how to deal with it? suggestions?

the other bit of advice i would love is...all his life hes wet the bed, it runs in the family, and ive tried everything from reducing his drinks before bed, getting him up again every night at the same time, but nothing seems to work so far, my other siblings grew out of it eventually but my parents just let it happen naturally, but if there was a tip or trick, which would mean he could go on school trips etc with out the fear of getting picked on if his mates found out...


any help/advice for a first time scared 25 year old would be appreciated kindly.
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Old 04-01-2012, 8:40 PM
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Particularly as bed wetting runs in the family, most likely, like your other siblings he will outgrow it. Do you know how old they were when they outgrew it? My son son was around 12 when he finally stopped and I have heard from many others that hitting puberty definetly seems to often be the point many boys outgrow it. So maybe he is getting close! We tried everything from limiting fluids, getting up at night, alarms, you name it and in the end all the 'cured' it was time.

As much as he is probably going to be embarassed by it, I would really suggest you have him evaluated by a doctor just to make sure there isn't a physical reason. There are medications that can be perscribed though I don't know about their availiblity in Ireland. Here most doctors won't perscribe them for everday use as there are risks but they will for use for overnight trips, summer camp, etc. Might at least get him through the school trips and such for the time being.

Good luck!
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Old 04-02-2012, 2:53 PM
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my mother had him evaluated when he was younger, and going through doctors reports they all believed nothing medical could fix it, so im hoping for it to just grow out of it, speaking with siblings 16ish was the time they all grew out of it also. i did ask our doctor and she wont perscibe anything either...i dont make a habbit or discussing it with the little brother much either, i talked him through what to do when it happens and he just changes his sheets, if i keep bringing it up i no it will make him more paranoid, i spoke with him n told him it happened to out brothers and sisters aswell, making him less paranoid. but thank you for your advice.
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