10-19-2010, 3:32 AM
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My 7 year old doesn't listen
Hi all. I have a 7 year old that I got full custody of back in April. His mom had issues with me spending time with him, but then decided she couldn't support him. She asked me to take him, so I did. Ever since he got here, I've tried to be there for him because I know it was a huge change for him. At the same time, I've tried to teach him things that he needs to know to be a decent boy. I've got him into a routine now and he seems to be adjusting well. The problem with him is that he doesn't listen or comprehend things he is told to do. I know he is 7, but even simple things he forgets.
I can relate to the way he is because I was almost the same exact way as a child. I also have ADD, which leads me to believe he does as well. I've tried to get advice from my parents on how they dealt with me, but no luck. I am losing my patience because I just want him to listen and do right and it seems that he puts playing before anything. I constantly have to tell him to do the same things... he does everything so quickly and doesn't take the time to do it right... even though I show him how to do it... more than once. It sounds like he is normal kid, but I feel this is worse than a normal 7 year old. I am also completely new at this... going from paying child support and visiting with him to taking him on full time. I try to do what my parents did with me, but I don't think I'm doing it right because I'm not getting any results. How do I get him to listen and follow directions? What do I do for punishment if he doesn't? Sending him to his room, grounding him and finally spanking him doesn't seem to work. I've also tried talking to him... explaining things to him... coming down to his level and still nothing. Thanks in advance for any advice.             
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05-30-2011, 8:42 PM
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It is necessary to explain behavior is expected from him, as accurate and specific as you can. You should try to ensure that heunderstands which behavior is acceptable and which not. Praise child for each desirable behavior.
- Praise must take place immediately after the desired behavior. - Praise must be associated with specific behaviors. - Praise must be specific and specific (for example, "I am happy you are so quiet play"). - Praise child by smile and look, but also by words. - Located next to the phrase, forgive, hug or kiss a child. - Notice and praise your child every time he behaves well, do not save praise for perfect behavior. - Use praise consistently, every time you see behavior that you want to encourage. - Praise child n the presence of other people, too. Reward your child for a desirable behavior because he will also begin to believe that he could succeed. Ignore unwanted behavior. If children are constantly punished for something, they get discouraged and stop trying to be good.
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05-30-2011, 10:56 PM
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You are gonna have to spend a lot of time following him around IMO.
From what you are saying, you cannot tell him what to do and expect him to stay on it without you monitoring. Eventually he will learn but it'll take time. I have found that it's not the punishment that make them learn , but the calm talking with me in a way that interest him before problems even arise. Of course kids are not all the same. I don't want to seem rethoric but he will improve his behavior if he like to impress you in a positive way because you and him both care. The punishment barelly let him understand that you are ,at the end ,the one in charge. just my 2cp
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