Hi, where do I begin? Single mom for 14 years. Raised 3 girls pretty much on my own. I am a professional, worked nights to be able to spend as much time with kids as possible. Their dad is involved to a point, as much as you can be when you live 150 miles away with his new family and many issues of his own including addiction. We had a pretty normal life considering. Very involved in school, activites, sports, we took small vacations, had the b-day parties etc. Have a nice group of family friends. Currently have a 22 y/o, 19 y/o and 18y/o. Oldest two do not see eye to eye, never really have for the past 8 years. My 22y/o had problems in college, did not do the right thing at all, on her 5th year and the 19y/o one agreed to let her live with her and her room mates on campus. I felt it was not a good idea at the time. 22y/o was stuck needing a place to live, 19y/o one felt obligated to do it. I very wrongly let it happen. I thought oldest would go about her business, do what she had to do school, pt job and spend the extra time with her BF. Thought middle one would go about her business, she had her friends and school and pt job. But nope. Oldest one mothered middle one, both disapproved of each other and their doings. Oldest one became friendly with 2 room mates, middle one feels she "took" her friends away from her. They both blame me for allowing this to happen. I must say I knew at christmas break that things were not good, but really didnt realize how bad they were and just wanted my oldest to graduate and get out! Middle one says I only cared about oldest. She feels her friendships have been ruined, and she is living with these girls again in fall. As I write this, I want to say just get over yourselves, grow up and move on! But when you are in it, it sure is not that easy and probably not the right thing to say anyway. They both have very valid points, both play a part in the problems. I have spent 3 days trying to talk to them, reason with them, show each others sides etc. They are all home now for summer. it is like a war zone here right now. I know it is all a big adjustment to be home, its all very fresh and will probably die down. But in the mean time what can I do?
I do not want this to define our family, do not want sisters not talking to each other becasue of this. They have not been close since middle school, but that does not mean it has to get this bad. Any words of wisdom is appreciated. Sorry for being so long winded.